You feel compelled on a road trip to
beat your previous time.
You are happiest when your street
car’s tires are worn to "racing depth"
When something falls off your car you
wonder how much weight you just saved.
When you hear "overcooked it" instead
of food you think "off the track"
You change engine oil every other
week.
You sometimes hear little noises from
passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning
in.
Your racing budget is one of the big
three---mortgage, car payments and maintenance.
Your e-mail address refers to your
race car rather than you.
You walk "proper lines" through the
grocery store.
You’ve paid $6.00 a gallon for
gasoline without complaining.
You buy new parts because you can’t
remember where you put the spares.
You find that you need a new house
because you’ve outgrown your garage and the neighbors are
threatening violence if you park one more vehicle in your
driveway or in the front yard.
The requirements you give your real
estate agent are (in order of importance):
8-car climate controlled garage
with an attached shop.
outside parking for six cars, a
motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28 foot enclosed trailer,
3phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
A grease pit.
Conveniently close to a
hazardous waste disposal site.
Deaf neighbors.
Across the street from a paint
and body shop.
Some sort of house with a
working toilet and shower on the property or a hookup for
the motor home.
You measure all family acquisitions
in terms of the number of race tires that could have been
bought.
You sit in your racecar in the dark
garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and
toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine
shop.
You look at the purchase of tools as
a long-term investment.
Your wife says " if you purchase
another set of tires, I’m getting a new mink"
Your garage holds more cars than your
house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts to build
another car.
More than one racer supply house
recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you
call.
You think the last line of the Star
Spangled Banner is " racers start your engines".
You’re registered for birthday gifts
at Pegasus and Racer’s Wholesale.
Your Christmas list begins with
"another set of Hoosier TD’S and aluminum rods" and your
significant other knows what these are.
After you answer to "what did you do
this weekend?" the next question is always "and you do this for
fun? Right?"
You have a separate drawer for garage
clothes.
Your reading material in the bathroom
consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogues. Several
books written by famous drivers, none of which have
centerfolds.
People know you by your class letter
car number and car color.
People know you by your "offs". "oh
you’re the one stuck in the button bog last weekend".
Your first date involves asking her
to crew for you.
Your criteria for selecting a
significant other includes auto repair skills, tools
optional.
Your friends don’t recognize you
without a helmet and driver’s suit.
You plan all significant events
around the race schedule.
You astound the clerk at Sears by
bringing in a snapped Craftsman breaker bar every other week or
so.
You remember the dates and details of
every race you’ve ever been in but can’t remember your phone
number.
Your family brings the couch into the
garage so they can spend some time with you.
You complain that cars in front of
you on the highway off ramp don’t hold the racing line, causing
your exit speed to drop.
A neighbor asks if you have any oil,
to which you query, "Synthetic or regular" to which they reply
"vegetable or corn".
You refer to the corner down the
street from your house as turn one.
You look at the fire hydrant on that
corner and see an apex marker.
You always late apex the intersection
and try to pass a few cars coming out.
Everywhere you go you always try to
find the fastest line through the turn.
You always do a heel toe downshift
while your passengers give you a real funny look.
You think that traction control and
ABS are for those who can’t drive.
You save broken car parts as
mementos.
Your last several highway forays
included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on ramps
perfectly.
You’ve found that your lawnmower runs
pretty good on 108-octane gas, but doesn’t care for
alcohol.
The local tire shop manger won’t
honor the tread life warranty on any car that you have been
within 50 yards of.
The local police and highway patrol
have a picture of your car taped to the dashboard.
You spend more time polishing you
exhaust tips every day than you do bathing.
Instead of pictures in your wallet
you have qualifying times.
You would choose a roll bar over air
conditioning if it were an option.
You consider the redline on your
tachometer as a "conservative’ suggestion and your rev limiter
as a "fun" limiter.
You spend more on insurance premiums
than on food.
Your idea of a good time is sitting
around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio
for a given situation.
When someone asks you where you went
to school you reply "Skip Barber".
You have racing shops programmed on
your speed dialer.
You own five cars and only one of
them is street legal.
You know the ¼ mile times and skid
pad numbers of you rider mower and you want to improve
them.
You’ve started looking for sponsors
for your daily commute.
After you tell your wife where you
would like to go on your vacation she replies "why.. is there a
race there?
* Excerpted from VSCDA Newsletter
January 2002
Contact us at mailto:paul@bovaracing.com
